Mesa

pla·teau  (pl-t)

n. pl. pla·teaus or pla·teaux (-tz)

1. An elevated, comparatively level expanse of land; a tableland.

2. A relatively stable level, period, or state.

intr.v. pla·teaued, pla·teau·ing, pla·teaus To reach a stable level; level off:

I'm there. More a mesa than a plateau perhaps. It's more common in the SW US, you know. It's frustrating, because I'm still weighing in at about 4 lbs over my minimum and holding. 

Of course I know it's because I can't exercise just yet, and that this is a temporary thing.  I've grown impatient.  After 150+ lbs I see the end in sight, and I want to be there.   I'm flirting with with sizes 18 and 16.  If I didn't have so much loose skin, I'm pretty sure I'd be solidly in a 14/16 at least. 

I wanted to start 2010 in Onederland.  Obviously that isn't going to happen.  But I know I'll reach Onederland shortly, that it's a matter of time, and that the time it takes is very brief compared to the number of years I've been solidly out of Onederland. 

Looking back, 2009 has been a year of profound change... change I can hardly wrap my head around having happened in one short year.  Not only the loss of some 100 lbs, but changes in how I see myself and my future.  2009 has been a year of hope.  It looks like 2010 will be a year of realization of those hopes.

Right now I'm standing, frustrated, at the top of this mesa.  I don't know exactly when or how I'm going to get down. I do, however, know I will.  This is a temporary stopping point, not my new home.  I know right now I need to focus on the immediate:  My kidney and parathyroid issues.  The rest will follow somewhat naturally.  

I'm not expecting Onederland this month.  Maybe not even in January.  Right now, I'm not planning to disappoint myself with a schedule (OK, maybe I have Valentine's Day in mind, but I figure that's a kinda safe date), rather I'm going to focus more on the general state of my health.  I'm pretty sure the weight loss will follow.

One of the interesting things about a plateau or a mesa is that you can see very clearly from there how far you've come and how far you have to go. I'm going to enjoy the view for a moment until I catch my breath and am ready to continue the journey.

Careful Eating

Today I've returned to more careful eating.  Knowing I can't exercise is really starting to annoy me, but it's only for another 10 days or so.  If I'm careful about what I put in my mouth, I should be able to avoid a substantial gain.

I've made a big pot of my chili and divided it into single servings.  I've just about run out of bread in the freezer, and at this point I'm not planning on getting a heck of a lot more except some stuff for the kids.  I certainly am pretty much done with bread products!

Last night I finally got a little sleep, which was nice.  I'm hoping that the greater part of the holiday stress is over, although I still have New Year and Valentines Day to get through.  Both are notoriously rough for me.

Right now it's too cold to do much outdoor walking.  The Senior Center is still closed, which means no treadmill (even at a lower pace and flat instead of hill intervals) I'm supposed to be avoiding strenuous exercise for a while (at least until the 6th I suppose) but I'm thinking maybe a little yoga won't count as strenuous?   I need to do something.  I'm beginning to feel mushy.

10 for 2010

I'm not one for making New Year Resolutions. I make plans for the new year, but not resolutions.

Here are some of the things I want to accomplish in the New Year:

1. Trade in the van and get a car. There are two major reasons for this: First, gas milage. I really feel the need to save both my wallet and the environment with a more fuel efficient vehicle. Second, I don't need a van anymore. Sure I had to drive all 4 kids around at some point in my life, and I used to drive my daughter and her hubby around (in 2009 they both got their licenses and a car) but the real reason I have a van is because I couldn't fit my big, almost 400 lb, arse behind the wheel of anything smaller. Now, at about half that weight, I can. The challenge to this is the finances. I buy cars cash only. I don't need more debt.

2. Switch banks, start saving. That first part... easy. Second... not so easy. I have a trip to LA to visit one last time before my daughter moves, perhaps a trip to Oregon to help her settle in the new place, and a trip to Rochester to plan. Hopefully I'll have accomplished #1 so that will all be cheaper.

3. Get all my kidney, parathyroid, etc procedures/surgeries done by my 51st birthday. Then I can focus on the problems with the loose excess skin, stabilizing my diet to account for all my medical conditions and weight loss maintenance, and achieving my long term fitness goals.

4. Run for the Zoo. This year I will participate in the Run/Walk for the Zoo. It's a no-pressure 5K, so I won't feel bad if I can't run the whole thing. Eventually I plan on being able to run a 5K, I'm just not sure I'm going to be ready to do that this year with everything going on.

5. Plant Cottonwoods. Volunteer in the various riparian conservation programs. Last year I missed most of the conservation efforts I like to participate in because of my surgeries. I plan on not missing so many this year. Of course, because these activities are all over the state, having accomplished my first goal would be helpful in getting to these events! This year I'll be fitter, and have more stamina in digging, hauling water and trees, and wielding those heavy post-hole diggers!

6. Spend more time volunteering at the BioPark. Get trained for the Zoo-To-You van. Next fall I'd like to be driving out with the animals to give demos around the state. The girls will be old enough to spend a few nights alone, and my recent hospital stay proved to me that they were ready to deal with that.

7. Brown Bag it! No, I'm not talking about packing my own lunch (which I do anyway) but attending the lunch-time lectures at the BioPark and the Museums. There are some really interesting lectures and behind the scenes tours (I missed the bioscience dept of the Museum's collections tour a couple weeks ago when Cay was sick, it was to be my first) and I want to start going to those. I really miss the educational environment of going to school, and this will be a good temporary substitute until I'm ready to go back and complete my PhD.

8. See Whale Sharks. I've had this on my list for the last few years now, and still haven't gotten to GA to see the whale sharks. I'm really hoping that I'll get there this year, but with my other travel plans it seems doubtful. I'd also hoped to get the kids to the Smithsonian. The last time they were there they were two. They don't remember much of it.

9. Spend time on the Ocean. I want to do another whale watch, tide pool, and see the elephant seals again. Unfortunately, that seems like more trips than I can do unless I'm doing them as part of the visits to my daughter and her move. As much as I love Albuquerque, I miss the ocean. Not the soft, sandy beaches of the Gulf Coast or the tourist towns in Florida... but the rocky outcroppings of the Pacific... where I don't see tourists in oil on beach blankets, but some of the wild things of the sea...

10. Develop a life plan. In summer of 2012, the girls will be getting ready to head out for college. I'll be on my own for the first time since... um... geez. This will be the first time I'll be just taking care of me, not supporting a husband or kids or living home with mom and dad. For me it's a whole new life, a whole open door of possibilities. It's like being 17 all over again, only now I have a shorter period to consider. Instead of asking "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I've assumed the role of mother, advocate, teacher, breadwinner, and so on... and now I can ask, "What do I want to be when they grow up?"

Right now a lot of what I want focuses on two things: Continuing my own learning experiences and volunteering in the fields of conservation and education. Will I move back to the ocean or stay in the desert? Will I head back to college and finish my PhD, start a new course of study, or continue to be somewhat of a part time amateur explorer, learning here and there whatever strikes my fancy?

Over the next two years I'll be making decisions, or deciding not to make decisions... But no matter what, it seems clear to me that I'm on the threshold of some amazing possibilities.

Tay wanted me to post this:

Her first sketch in her new sketch pad: