|No, this isn't my tire. I got this image from BJ Thoughts,|
but it does look an awful lot like my tire yesterday...
Sure, I had a rough spot the other day when I went to the complex's laundry room and found my clothes were still soaking wet and covered with soap although the cycle had ended, and I ended up putting them (dripping wet) in another washer to run again (this time with no soap) at an additional $1.50... something that seemed crushing at the time.
But I've also dealt with a broken dishwasher for days, and, just when I thought I was getting ahead this month, yesterday I went out to find a totally flat tire with a screw deeply embedded in it. I survived it. Even this morning, when I had to buy the tire, and realized that this month wasn't going to be as financially wonderful as I thought.
Now to backtrack... I don't EVER recommend those with chronic mental illness to ditch their medications in favor of a pet, any more than I'd recommend a cat instead of chemo for those with cancer, but in my case, I'm not chronically mentally ill, I do have situational depression (things have piled up these last couple months) and I have some depression caused by my blood sugar dives and the decrease in my thyroid medication, neither of which will be helped terribly much by an anti-depressant.
In my case, it's going to take a few things to pull me out all the way: Balanced medication for my other conditions, revised diet, some behavioral changes (the dog already forces me off the couch most of the day, and volunteer season starts tomorrow) and finally I'm probably going to have to deal with some of the cognitive stuff I've been avoiding (the doc recommends deep trauma therapy).
I knew losing weight wasn't going to be the answer to all my problems. And I knew that the more I lost, the more of ME I'd be uncovering. Part of that, I worried, was having to deal with stuff I thought I'd resolved. And I guess I've gotten to that point.
Right now I'm scared about the next step, but ready to take it. This journey started out in earnest when I stopped thinking about looking fabulous and started thinking about feeling fabulous, and that's something that involves more than the body. My journey has to involve more than diet and exercise ... that I have to nurture the mind and spirit that is part of this life, and not just the body.