Weighing Everything

Today it struck me: right now I'm weighing everything in my life... frequently... carefully.

Most literally I'm weighing my body (this morning's weigh in, btw, was 197.6, keeping me moving down and away from that dreaded 200 lb mark). But I'm also weighing my options right now.

And I'm having second thoughts about the whole Santa Fe thing.

Can Cay and I go from being mom/daughter to roomies? And is that even viable when she won't be able to contribute equally to the household? Do I want to give up my freedom and my position at the zoo? and my new position with Prairie Dog Pals? And the church I just joined (but haven't been back to because of all the stuff I'm doing)?

On the other hand, I won't have to worry about passing out in my apartment with low blood sugar and no one finding me for days. And I can get a bigger place, and there will be room for Tay over the summer. And because she's an added adult with no income, the rent will be lower so I can feed her.

But then again, should I have to feed her? Shouldn't she be more independent?

Cay is thrilled about the idea of me moving to Santa Fe. Her only concern is what to do on days she has to work the After After Party, and how she'll get home. Since it's only once a month, I think we can work something out. The original plan was she'd stay at my place (if I were in Albuquerque).

Now it's not all a done deal. We don't have the final financial aid packet, and it may just be possible with enough loans that she'll be able to go and live on campus.

The funny thing about all this is that I'd planned on going to Santa Fe some time in the future. I just balk when I have it thrust upon me.

I also wonder if the glamor will rub off Santa Fe for me once I'm living there.

I've just got a lot to think about.

These next several days are sunup to sundown stress for me. Some in a good way. Some just plain nasty. Today I've got to deal with the girls high school, paperwork, and the Social Security office. Tomorrow is grocery day. Thursday I'll be gone all day on a Zoo to You trip WAY out of town. And Friday is big shopping and bill day. The weekend won't be any better. I want to start the yard sale this weekend, but also have the zoo recognition meeting to go to on Saturday. I may set up, go to the meeting and leave one of the girls in charge, then come back and finish the sale. I may just wait until next week to do the sale. I still have a ton of work at the zoo to get done before Saturday (if my boss wants to have the new publication out for the meeting)