and miles to go before I sleep...

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

I've been thinking a lot about the line "and miles to go before I sleep" considering how busy I've been these days, and how many stressful things are on my schedule. But I've been thinking of it in terms of the immediate and daily events of my life, not my life as a total.

It may seem a bit maudlin to be talking about death, but let's face it: it's going to happen sooner or later (preferably much, much later).

I think a lot about the things I have to finish in a day, or a week, or all the little, cramped words filling my calendar. Being in the moment often means dealing with an immediate stressor. I definitely don't want to be in the moment when I'm packing to move, or being probed by some sort of medical equipment. But I also know that the days are made up by moments. I may take time to stand and watch my woods fill up with snow and contemplate that for a time, but I'm planning a lot more to my journey.

From time to time I see people post their "bucket list". I keep making little ones that are pretty ill formed. I finished my bucket list back in '05 when I was told that I had kidney cancer. But I've never really solidified my new one. At this point I know what general direction I'm going, but don't keep so rigidly to the path that I won't veer off it now and again to see some passing wonder or have some unplanned experience.

Yes, I'm "over the hill". There's a lot more time built up behind me than there is in front of me. Today, as I sit here and type, I may be 3/4 of the way on my weight loss journey, but on average, according to recent longevity statistics, I'm also 3/4 the way through my life.

I have some vague idea of the things I want to do: Major cross country road trip, visit national parks, go to the Georgia Aquarium, things like that. But there is only one real item on my bucket list: To experience and enjoy life to the fullest.

I know a time will come for rest, when the adventure is over and sleepiness overtakes the excitement.

...but for now, I think I hear the jingling of the harness bells.