and that's where I have a problem with this. Because I'm all for honoring our bodies for all the amazing things they do, but loving them for it is something else. If we are loving our arms for carrying children, should we loose use of our arms, should we stop loving them? If we women honor our bellies for carrying our children, what do men get to honor their bellies for? Carrying their beer?
It seems to me that we should be loving our bodies unconditionally. Because they're US... and we should be loving ourselves unconditionally.
The next part of this is that I've noticed a lot of nice bodies, or mostly bodies nearing the end of their journey to change. One photo had what appeared to be a tummy tuck scar (but could have been a very nice c-section scar). Where are all the really unfortunate looking bodies? Can't we love them as well? Can't we say : this is my body, it's a mess, but I love it anyway?
I'm going to say just that.
Sure, you'd get a better feel for the truly grotesque sagging skin (some of which is visible in the inner thigh) if I had bikini panties (which is precisely the reason I don't have bikini panties), and the scar from the drain when I had my gall bladder out in '81? truely grotesque. And you can even see a little bit of my skin flap from my bra caught in my arm. What's to love?
I am.
Look, anyone who has kids knows you can love something (or someone) and still be totally unhappy with them at any given moment. And that the love you have doesn't in any way tie in with the way that something (or someone) looks, feels, or is jiggling around uncomfortably at any given moment, so why... WHY would you not give that same kind of unconditional love to yourself/ your body?
I'm not happy that I'm still fat. I'm definitely not happy with the loose skin. I'm not particularly happy with my nose, either ( I much prefer my sisters perfect little ski-jump nose). NONE of that means I don't love me.
Would I change me if I could? YES. Isn't that what most of us are here to do?
But I'm not changing me because I don't love me the way I am. I'm changing me because I love me so much I want to be the best me I can be. I want to live up to my own, personal potential. And I love me enough to want that for myself as much as I want it for my children, my friends, and all of you.
Thank you! We are doing this to get heathier, not just for appearance. Are my arms sagging? Yes. Is my stomach deflating? Yes. But I am off my blood pressure medicine, I can cross my legs, I have a LAP... All of us should love who we are, and do our best to get healthier. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteI was feeling the same way, both about the need to love our bodies unconditionally and the fact that those posting the Exposed pictures were those at or near the end of their journey and certainly not, to borrow your words, "really unfortunate bodies".
Loving your body DOES mean that there's room for change. In fact, it's out of love that I am making those changes!
Again, THANK YOU! Such an inspiration!
Hi Kate. Thank you for doing this. Our bodies inevitably show the journey we have been in through our lives. We need less shame and more appreciation of how amazing our bodies are.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was at art school (a million years ago) we had 2 female life models and one was thin and the other was large. The thin one was sooooo boring to draw. She wasn't emaciated so you couldn't see her bones, so there was just hardly anything there to grab hold of visually (or in any other way either!) The larger lady was so much more interesting with folds of flesh and rolls of fat falling differently in every pose.
An art student would LOVE to draw you as you are now. You're very interesting these days ...
I think you have a great nose BTW.
Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx
Wow! Wow!!!! You really really struck a nerve with me when you said "anyone who has kids knows you can love something (or someone) and still be totally unhappy with them at any given moment. And that the love you have doesn't in any way tie in with the way that something (or someone) looks, feels, or is jiggling around uncomfortably at any given moment, so why... WHY would you not give that same kind of unconditional love to yourself/ your body?"
ReplyDeleteWhoa!! It's so true!!
I looked at your pic and shrugged. I see a woman who has accomplished amazing things, and is well on her way to a healthier her. And one that I am incredibly proud to be following.
Wow. Your arms look in better shape than mine. LOL The flab is hitting me bad in that spot and I'm starting strength training in *hopes* of tightening that up. For now, I'm just trying to embrace it. I'm wearing a shirt I like today bc I like it instead of tossing it aside since it shows my "butt arms"(where the flab meets together to form what looks like baby booty lol).
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister!!!! What a great way to look at things. Thank you! :)
Hehe, clearly you missed my post with my nowhere near the end body:
ReplyDeletehttp://amerrylife.com/2009/10/21/exposed-why-i-love-my-body
I love this post though. Good attitude!
Mary... heck, saw your body photo, you just have one little roll around your tummy. I counted you as one of the "almost finished"... nowhere near "unfortunate"! you look great :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, I'll comment back here too!
ReplyDeleteI definitely don't think my body is almost finished, although thanks for thinking that! Having a relatively flat tummy doesn't mean much to me. My body is just shaped that way. My legs are saggy too, btw. I just wore boyshorts that cover up the worst part and stood so you can't tell. Yeah, I totally feel ya on that issue. Hehe. But thanks for the kind words! :)
"The next part of this is that I've noticed a lot of nice bodies, or mostly bodies nearing the end of their journey to change. One photo had what appeared to be a tummy tuck scar (but could have been a very nice c-section scar). Where are all the really unfortunate looking bodies?"
ReplyDeleteTummy tuck scar lady.. that was me. Sorry I wasn't fat enough for you.. Snippy I know but I have always struggled with body image issues and the point of my post (after being inspired by the same people you where) was to start a movement so all women regardless of where they were on their journeys would start to honor their bodies. That's why I did the post on WATRD as well.
I can't represent all women, I am only one and only some will relate to me and my body shape size. Others to yours and still others to all the other brave women who are out there.
Thanks for sharing your link and story. I'm glad i found ya! :)
I agree 100%... my point wasn't whether you were fat enough... just that it seemed that there was a distinctly narrow set of body types represented so far. I worry that people who are larger or who don't meet certain media expectations can't bring themselves to do this.
ReplyDeleteI would like to talk to you more about your post. Thank you for following in the footsteps of others. There are many of you out there--in all shapes and sizes. Please e-mail me, eatingjourney@gmail.com ~Michelle
ReplyDeleteI love that you posted this--you have such a great approach. It took a lot for me to post a photo of "me" as "me"-- I have been so ashamed of the "rolls" and the extra skin. But you know what? WE ARE WHO WE ARE AND WE NEED TO LOVE OUTSELVES. I am still in learning mode, but I know I will get there.
ReplyDeleteAJ
ajlovestolose.com
Oh Kate, I don't know how I missed this a few weeks ago but I'm so glad I followed the trail from MizFit today to find it.
ReplyDeleteI love what you wrote because it is SO true.
Kudos!
Lynn
THANK YOU!!! Your point is so well made, and gratefully taken.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Very well put. We should always love our bodies, even if we don't particularly like them right now. This journey is about so much more than just our bodies. It's about us. Thank you for posting this. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm just discovering your blog after noticing you were following me. I like. Your progress is amazing. Congrats!
Thanks, GB Girl. It's been a long road, and I wouldn't have traded a minute of it... except, maybe, the month I expected to see Bob or Jillian bursting through the doors of my gym. I was crushed when they didn't show up and whisk me away to the Ranch!
ReplyDelete